| AMIDA TRUST | |
Occasional paper HELPING OURSELVES: by Prasada Caroline Brazier | |
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USING THIS PACK This pack is for anyone who is a member of an unled group, or who is interested in setting one up. It is intended as a brief introduction to groups and offers practical ways of using group time and tackling issues that arise. It is probably a good idea to read the pack through before the start of the group, and then to keep it for reference as situations develop. Many of the sections in the pack will serve as introductions, and recommend books that you may wish to refer to for more ideas. The pack is written in two parts. The first part is concerned with groupwork issues generally. It contains trigger questions to help you start to think about your own attitudes and involvement in the issues. You can use these by yourself, or use them as the basis for discussion in group sessions. The second contains a selection of basic groupwork exercises and games which you may wish to use in the group sessions. These exercises are intended as an introductory selection, as there are many good groupwork books available which will give you fuller lists of activities. Where an exercise listed in the second half of the pack is referred to in the first part, it is marked *. Before starting any new activity, it is worth considering what one might expect to get out of it. This is not to say that there won't be surprises, but it does often help one to use the opportunities which the activity offers better. We all have experience of being in groups whether we like it or not. We have been in a family, in a class at school, or with groups of friends. We are part of large racial and community groups - we are northerners or southerners, black or white, male or female. Most of us define ourselves in terms of the groups we are in. We join groups which we feel identified with to enhance our sense of identity. If we do not feel identified with the groups we are in we can feel very lonely or unhappy. ACTIVITIES: 1) How do you introduce yourself? What groups do you tell others that you are a member of? (eg I'm a teacher, I've got three children, I'm Jewish) 2) Brainstorm* a list of all the groups you belong to now/ have ever belonged to. What does this say about you as a person? Joining a self-help, support, or personal development group is a rather different matter from joining most groups. It is a deliberate choice to give ourselves the opportunity to look at things which would normally be ignored in activity based groups. In short, one of the main focuses of any group of this kind is likely to be to look at the way the members behave as a group. Another way in which this kind of group differs is that its members have come together specifically with the aim of working together towards personal development goals. There is, whether it is explicit or not, a contract to work towards a deeper appreciation of oneself and others. Things can be talked about and will be taken seriously which in other settings might be avoided.
The group members themselves may well be people who would not normally get to know each other well. It is in learning to understand how life is from other people's perspectives that we all develop as people. In groups the differences between people are important. A group of people with similar problems will often feel very supportive at first, but it is only when we start to appreciate what makes us different as well, that we really know each other and grow in ourselves. Groups are in some ways the most "real" experience we can have. We can say things we would not usually dare to say because of social conventions. They are also an artificially set up situation in which we can experiment with "how we are". We can try being more honest, more assertive, more caring. A group provides a supportive atmosphere in which we can learn about how we are and how we can be. Finally, groups are about learning to care and to be cared for. They are places where, through feeling cared for, people can find the courage to explore difficult areas of their lives, and to make real changes in their life circumstances. Groups can often form a useful complement to individual therapy. There are times when we all need the undivided attention of one person. If this is our main need, a group may not be right for us at the moment. But learning to share, to give and take, is something which groups offer in a way that individual work cannot. Getting feedback from a number of people often gives more view points than simply hearing from one therapist. Noticing our responses to different people gives us new insights into the different facets of our nature. ACTIVITIES: 1) Write or draw your impressions of what you expect/want from the group. COMING TOGETHER The way that a group forms will have a lot of effect on its early stages, and may affect its whole outcome. If a group is set up by one of its members, that person may have a great deal of trouble giving up the role of leader. If it is set up by someone not in the group, the group is likely to have a lot of interest in that person and may treat them as an absent parent figure. Group members may respond to an advert or publicity announcement, or may be asked personally to join. They may have been through some kind of formal or informal selection. There may be an open meeting to discuss setting up the group, or it may arise spontaneously from some other activity. Whatever the means of coming together, it will colour group members expectations of the group. ACTIVITIES: 1) How did you hear of the group? What impression did you get at the time of how the group might be? How do you think this is affecting your behaviour in the group now? 2) Have you modified your first impression? If so, why? GETTING TO KNOW EACH OTHER One of the group's first concerns is likely to be getting to know each other. The second half of this pack includes a number of activities which might be used to help the process. Whilst the drive may seem to be to gain factual information about each other's lives, in fact the most important part of the "getting to know each other" process is probably about getting a "feel" for each other as people. There will be unspoken questions in each person's mind about the others - "Can I trust this person?" "What will I find to say to that person?", "Is there anyone else who has been through the same life experiences as me?". Group members may quickly form preconceptions and then test them out, or may hold back, watching to see what will happen. "Breaking the ice" is often an important first step. It may involve a shared task or game. Ice breakers* can be physical, fun, and/or task-centred. Not all groups choose to use formal ice breaker exercises. Often talking together and finding shared concerns and shared experiences can serve the same function and set a more serious tone. One thing that does seem important is that the group establish a "working" atmosphere from the start. This may mean being sure you start on time, making sure that people are taken seriously and being wary of "social" laughter which hides uncomfortable feelings. A group will only achieve what it gives itself permission to achieve. ACTIVITIES: 1) Think about different groups you may have been in. How did people get to know each other? What happened in the group that helped or hindered this process? 2) How do you get to know people? What does it take for you to trust them? 3) Think through ways a group might start. What effect might different exercises, games or activities have on your group? GROUND RULES Most groups have certain norms or rules about the way they interact. These may be set out from the start, negotiated along the way, or may evolve without ever being formally agreed. One problem about trying to set up rules from the beginning is that the group is talking about abstract situations. It is very easy to agree that everything said will be confidential whilst one is sitting in the group room, but the participant may well find herself talking to a partner or close friend about something they felt strongly about which happened in the group, and suddenly realise they are not sure whether they have broken a confidence or not. Any discussion of issues such as confidentiality works best if it is narrowed down to specific examples of what is and what is not acceptable. At the end of the day, however, no amount of discussion of ground rules will legislate for trust. If trust is based solely on rules, it may be betrayed. Also, the discussion of rules can set a legislative atmosphere in the group, which can spill over into other evaluative and judgemental attitudes, so, on balance, it may be better to minimise rules and rely on mutual respect more. Confidentiality is a rule frequently introduced at an early stage. It is probably worth setting it in the context of the whole way in which group members treat each other and respond to others' stories. Other ground rules frequently adopted may include ones regulating violence and physical contact, use of drugs including alcohol and smoking, attendance and group times. Some such rules may be imposed from outside the group, for example if it meets in no-smoking premises. Group members may have individual requests, for example regarding the type of feedback they want from the group. Groups often benefit from some discussion of these issues, but it is often good to leave the final outcome of such discussions open so that the group is free to continue negotiation or change its mind as it progresses. Perhaps the most important thing to appreciate regarding ground rules is that they often arise from unspoken fears. Discussing the fears can be a lot more productive than trying to agree a code of conduct. One way of doing this is the "fear in a hat"* game. ACTIVITIES: 1) Thinking of previous group experiences, identify any rules or norms, official and unofficial, the group had. How were these arrived at? Were they useful? Did the way they were arrived at affect their efficacy? 2) What do you feel are the most important things you need to happen in order that you can use the group well? Can you recognise fears or anxieties underlying your needs? 3) If other people in the group have very different ideas about what should happen, how would this feel to you? LISTENING TO EACH OTHER Listening is probably one of the most important things that goes on in groups. When I feel healed by a group experience, it is often because I have felt really heard by a number of people. Listening in groups can also be difficult for a number of reasons: - We often join groups because we are full of feelings and long to be heard. In groups, however, others are likely to have feelings too. Unlike in the individual therapy session, in groups we need to be aware that sometimes other group members may be too full of their own feelings to be able to hear us properly. When personal issues are touched, and we all become less available to others. It is inevitable that this will happen from time to time, and does not matter in a caring group where there are always others to take on the caring role, but learning to put feelings aside and listen, to share time, is part of the group experience. - In the early stages of groups, group members are often looking for common ground. This may mean that they listen selectively, hearing only things which echo their own experience. Differences are simply not heard, or become distorted. - Group members may start to see each other in stereotyped ways. They start to hear what they expect the other person would say, based on their preconceptions about them. This stops the person really being heard. - Certain members of the group may become the focus for all the group's negative feelings, irritation or aggression. This is called scapegoating. There may seem to be a rational reason for the person's position, but it is important to realise that putting someone in the scapegoat role fulfils a purpose for the whole group too. More will be said on this in the section on conflict. If someone is scapegoated it is unlikely they will be properly listened to. - Sometimes our eagerness to know more stops us from hearing each other. The person talking can be barraged with questions which take them away from the things they were actually trying to say. - Listening can be on the wrong level. If a person is trying to talk about how upset she was by a row with her partner, her feelings are probably her main concern. If the group only hears the facts of the argument, and spend as lot of time telling her she is right on insisting that her partner alters his behaviour, they are probably missing the point, and she will not feel heard. Listening is a skill which needs practice. Groups are a good place to practise. An awareness of the need to really hear each other may be enough, or the group may choose to use listening skills exercises* in order to sharpen this skill. If group members are assertive and tell others in a non-critical way when they want to be listened to more carefully, this will help the whole group to learn. Some general pointers to good listening are: - Listen actively. Check out whether you have understood. - Listen for personal meaning. What is the significance of what is being said to the person speaking? - Hear the feelings as well as the facts. - Don't rush in with questions too quickly. These will follow your agenda rather than the other person's. ACTIVITIES: 1) Think about situations in which you have felt well listened to, and situations in which you have not felt heard. What made the difference? 2) Take a recent occasion when you feel you have listened to someone well. Think yourself into that person's shoes and write, speak or think as them (role reversal*). Give an account of how your situation feels (in role as the other person). Returning to being yourself, consider how well you were able to experience life in their shoes. What does this tell you about how well you listened? GROUP PROCESS All groups go through different stages. They begin with a "getting to know you" stage. They find a sense of purpose, wrestle with differences, and eventually find a working balance. This process has been compared with the growth of the individual from childhood, through adolescence to maturity and eventual old age and death. Whilst you will probably not need a detailed understanding of the different theories on group process, it is useful to have a general sense that the group will go through different stages, and that these stages may feel quite different from each other. At some points the group may feel very rocky, but if you can hold onto the sense that this is part of the process and a learning opportunity, you will see calmer waters on the other side. One danger in unled groups is that the group gets so caught up in a particular phase that everyone loses faith in ever getting beyond it. People may leave at this point, resulting in even lower morale and a tendency to regress into safer ways of interacting. Whilst it can help to bring an outside facilitator in to help the group look at its dynamics, this can be counter productive, as it may give the group a sense of not being able to manage its own difficulties. Usually by listening better and being open with each other, a new understanding will emerge and the group will move on. The next section gives some ideas on dealing with difference and conflict. Further Reading: BRAZIER, D: Group Process, Amida Trust Occasional Paper DIFFERENCES & CONFLICT Appreciating our differences is probably the most important learning a group provides. Conflict moves groups from their early, dependent stages into independent, inter-actional functioning. In other words passing through a conflict together deepens our experience of each other and our ability to be "real" with each other. Like the old adage that "you only know someone when you've argued with them", groups need to voice their uncomfortable feelings as well as their comfortable feelings. Having an awareness of the importance of conflict, however, does not mean that it is good to be voicing anger all the time. Different people have very different comfort levels, and part of the learning that comes from groups is appreciating that difference. Some people thrive in groups which are very confrontative, others are terrified by even a mildly heated exchange. If we think of groups as learning places, however, it may be more helpful for the person prone to shouting and cushion thumping to learn to voice feelings more evenly, whilst the more timid group member may well benefit from staying with the feelings of discomfort that arise and learning to become more expressive. The important thing to realise is that anger and conflict is not an end in itself. At best, it is a means to a better appreciation of each person's uniqueness. ACTIVITIES: 1) Think about your own patterns of anger. How do you express negative feelings? Do you shout, argue, blame, criticise, sulk, retreat or what? Do these ways of reacting have a history? 2) Think about the situations in which these feelings arise. What is it in you that responds to other people's anger? Whole group conflict: Sometimes the whole group can feel in conflict. There may be no obvious focus, but the atmosphere is nevertheless scratchy and awkward. Anyone who speaks seems to get ignored or shouted down. Decisions are hard to reach. In this situation looking at the process can help the group understand what is happening. (This, of course, assumes the group is able to look at its own process co-operatively!) If individuals are able to be honest with each other, and really try to understand other people's points of view, the conflict will usefully dissolve. Scapegoating: Some conflict situations result in one person being scapegoated. Whilst there may be genuine reasons why other group members feel angry with the scapegoat - perhaps this person has been particularly angry herself - it is important to realise that the scapegoat provides a function for the whole group. All bad feelings can be directed to the one person, leaving an illusion of harmony amongst the others. Many groups have been surprised to discover that when their scapegoat left, far from finding a trouble free atmosphere, the group has actually become more troubled, or found another scapegoat. Sometimes the scapegoat is outside the group. It may be the organisation which set up the group, the caretaker, the group who meet on another night, or politicians. Having an outside scapegoat can provide an even greater illusion of comfort, but it will also stop any real discussion of differences within the group. Conflicts between pairs of people: Conflicts between pairs of people may also be a way of limiting conflict within the group. Sometimes the pair will represent the group's conflict, with everyone involved and rooting for one side or the other. If this is the case it will be hard for the pair to give up their disagreement, as the group will subtly encourage it to continue. Other conflicts between pairs may simply be a disagreement between the two. Here the group's interest will be in dealing with, or even setting aside, the conflict so that the group can continue its main interest. Ways of facilitating conflict: Often it helps if someone who is less involved in the conflict can take a neutral, facilitative role. If everyone is involved, a group contract to try to step back a little from the fraught feelings may be better. - Avoid setting a critical, evaluative tone in the group. - Use listening skills to try to understand the other person/people's point of view. - Use role reversal to try to get into this point of view more fully. - Identify personal resonances. Does this situation remind you of past experiences? Does this person remind you of someone you used to know, or still know? - Try to be clear about what are issues and what are feelings. If you are unable to agree to differ, there are probably strongly felt personal feelings or beliefs involved. - Be prepared to accept that not everything can be resolved. Agreeing to differ may in fact be the best solution, but this can only work when the personal resonances have at least been explored. In groups we learn to say what really matters to us, and we also learn about patience, compromise and mediation. It is worth reflecting that a group is a microcosm of the world at large, so if we can learn how to use our differences creatively in groups, we are not only learning skills which are useful to ourselves, but to the world. ACTIVITIES: 1) Think about groups you have been involved in. How did they express negative feelings? How might you have facilitated the working through of those feelings better? SHARING GROUP TIME One difficulty often encountered in unled groups is time sharing. The ways that we take time for ourselves, or give it to others tells us a lot about ourselves. Are we scrupulously fair, anxious about not getting enough, taking all we can get, unaware of the need to share, not daring to take any, or feeling unworthy of attention? If a group allows its process to run, time sharing generally ceases to be a problem, so long as members are reasonably caring. This does not necessarily mean that everyone takes up exactly equal amounts of time, but it does mean that everyone feels able to talk if they want to, and involved when they are not talking. What one gains from a group is not measurable in terms of the number of hours of talking one has been allowed. Indeed one could argue that the reverse was more the case! If one person talks about a personal issues, it will have resonances for everyone, and everyone will benefit. Often the most productive group time, however, is that time when no one person is dominating, and everyone is responding to and interacting with each other. Having said this some groups do evolve ways of dividing the time amongst themselves which work very well. This may involve putting in bids at the start according to felt need, dividing the time in the session by the number of group members and taking equal amounts of time each, or taking it in turns to have a longer chunk of time every few weeks. In a long term group different strategies may work better at different times, so it is worth remaining open to other approaches. ACTIVITY: 1) What is your own pattern of using time in groups? Does this echo other aspects of your life - for example are you often worried about not getting enough? LEADERSHIP Even in unled groups, leadership will be an issue. Particularly in the early stages, group members will look to someone to give a sense of direction, make decisions, or suggest activities. If there is no facilitator this role may fall to one particular group member. This is not intrinsically bad. Group need someone to take initiative, to do practical things like phoning absent members with messages or bringing coffee. They need people to care when someone is upset, or facilitate when someone is confused. In a well functioning group, the leadership roles will be spread amongst the members. Everyone will care for each other. Sometimes one person may step a little forward, but this will only be for a while. If someone is constantly getting put in a leadership role, it is worth asking why. Why do other group members not take on these tasks? Why is this person doing it all? ACTIVITY: 1) Think about your own attitudes to leadership and taking initiative. How easy do you find it? How are you likely to view another person who behaves similarly? or differently? ENDING Groups come to an end in different ways. The end may be planned or unexpected, sudden, or may be forced on the group through gradual loss of membership. Talking about the ending process is important for two reasons. Firstly it gives the group members a chance to talk about the experience of being in the group, of finishing unfinished business, and of planning for "life after the group". Secondly, the way that we approach an ending in a group reflects the way that we see endings in the rest of our lives. If we habitually avoid saying good-bye, we are likely to try to do the same in the group. Working through our feelings at the close of the group can help us come to terms with other losses in our lives. ACTIVITY: 1) Think about the ways in which you have coped with endings in the past. did all the endings fit the same pattern. 2) Think about how the ending of this group will affect you. What will you miss? What will you take away from the experience? What do you need to do before the group ends? Many groups function perfectly well without any structured exercises. If your group does, that's great. On the other hand self-help groups often feel that they are getting bogged down and need some stimulus to get things moving or address particular issues. In this case using structured exercises for part of your time together can help. This section gives you some basic groupwork exercises and games. It is intended not so much as a list of what to do, but rather as a list of styles of activity which can be used to help you develop your own activities. GETTING STARTED It is often helpful to think about the next session at the end of the last one. If you do this, however you may need to alter your plans if people arrive with important issues on their minds. For example you may want to abandon your plans if one group member arrives distraught having just broken up with her partner. More experienced groups will probably prefer to begin in an open way, perhaps with a brief "checking in" round, and will use exercises spontaneously if they seem to fit the situations which arise. Some groups may ask one or two people to plan a session and lead it, but this essentially turns the group into a led one. Although the discussion around setting up an activity may seem to take up a lot of time, it is actually as important to the group as the activity itself. By holding such discussions about how time is to be used the group will be learning to share, negotiate and reach decisions. Conflict may arise and be resolved. The group will develop its creativity and new ways of working may emerge. It will also develop a greater level of insight and awareness. Thinking about exercises: It is quite useful in a self help group to not only talk about what you are doing, but also about how you are doing it. By doing this you will discover which ways of working are most helpful, and which ways seem to get in the way. It can be useful to set time aside to "process", or talk about, how the session has gone and which ways of working were most useful. Anxiety levels: Some exercises may feel threatening to some people. If so, you may feel this was useful, or you may want to change the activity next time. It can be useful to think in terms of an optimal anxiety level. If the exercise does not create any anxiety, it may well not be stretching you. You may want more challenge. On the other hand if it makes some people too anxious, it may not be helpful. The group needs to negotiate a reasonable level for the everyone. Good exercises allow people to use the structure at different levels. They are open ended enough, for example, to allow different levels of self-exposure. Keeping things simple: Sometimes you could have achieved what you want better by simply talking in the group, rather than by doing an elaborate activity. It is useful to keep going back to basic questions: Why are we doing this? What are we hoping to get out of it? What else are we learning from the exercise? How else could we do it? Challenging ourselves: Groups are places in which we can try out being different. Establishing the idea of being willing to "have a go" is important, as in the idea of trying out aspects of ourselves. One will not get much out of a group if one is intending to stay the same as one has always been, or, alternatively, expecting to be magically transformed without taking initiative to make it happen. Groups are safe places for timid people to practise being assertive and aggressive people to practise being tender and gentle, for "feeling" people to learn to express themselves verbally, and "thinking" people to learn about their emotions. A THREE STAGE STRUCTURE It helps to think of any activity as a three stage structure. Although the stages may be brief, and will be very different in each activity, if one is missed out, the group can be left wondering why things don't feel right. These are the stages: WARM UP ACTION (Activity) INTEGRATION Warm up: The group needs something to get the activity going. Sometimes the discussion which sparked the activity is plenty. Sometimes planning the activity may serve to warm the group up to it. If you are running an activity for the group talking about why you think it is relevant can help. Sometimes an activity such as brainstorming is used as a warm up. Action: This is the phase of actually doing the activity. Integration: When the group has done something together, it is important to allow time for some sharing to take place. This has a number of functions. It allows personal material to be shared with the whole group. It allows the group to talk about how it was to do the activity and how it might be improved on next time, and it brings the group back together. If one person has been "working" on a personal issue in front of the group this stage is particularly important as an equalising process. Here sharing should be of personal material from other group members and should steer clear of talking about what the person has just done. The integration phase should bring group members onto a more equal footing in terms of personal sharing. Recognising stages: The structure of group sessions is, in practise, often more complex, as sets of stages may be nested within the overall structure. For example the group may talk about what they want to do (WARM UP) then brainstorm ideas more formally (Which can be seen as an ACTIVITY, but then forms a WARM UP for the next stage). There may follow a discussion which generates one exercise which the group does (WARM UP - ACTION). Afterwards there will be discussion and feedback (INTEGRATION) which may lead to a further exercise (WARM UP). It is not really very important to recognise which stage the group is going through at any time. What is be more important is recognising when a group has reached a point of being sufficiently warmed up to do an activity, and when enough time has been spent integrating what has happened afterwards. Having a sense of the WARM UP\ACTION\INTEGRATION pattern will help you recognise the times when an activity feels wrong because a vital stage has been missed out. BASIC STRUCTURED EXERCISES These are some old favourites. If you have been in groups before, you will probably have experienced several variations of each. Nevertheless, it is worth thinking about possible variations for yourself. Often these activities are the most useful because they are the most adaptable. Brainstorming: You will need one person to be scribe, a big sheet of paper and a pen. The group all call out their ideas or comments on a given theme, using short phrases or single words. The scribe writes down what is said, trying to get each person's words as accurately as possible. The idea is to include everything, however unlikely. Pitfalls: a)Brainstorming does not work well if the scribe doesn't write down what is said. If you are scribe, always try to get as much down as possible. If you need to shorten something, check that you have represented what the person meant accurately b) You need to make use of what has been collected, either through discussion or subgrouping the items, otherwise you are likely to simply end up with a long list and not know what to do with it. Uses: GENERATING IDEAS COVERING AS MUCH GROUND AS POSSIBLE IN A SHORT TIME DISCOVERING COMMON GROUND IN THE GROUP INCLUDING EVERYONE Rounds: Each person in turn speaks on a given subject such as "what happened this week", or "my fantasy" or "something I'd like to do during the week". This may involve completing a sentence, introducing oneself, giving feedback, or making bids for group time. Members may be permitted to pass if they do not wish to speak. Rounds are often used as introductions in groups. This can be an efficient way of helping everyone to say something at the start of the group. Usually people will say who they are, and perhaps a little about themselves, what brought them to the group, or what they are hoping to get from the group. Whilst traditionally in a round each person speaks in turn, it sometimes works better if people introduce themselves spontaneously when they feel like it. If you do this you need to make sure that everyone has had a chance to say something before the group moves on to other discussion. An introductory round at the start of each session can be useful in letting everyone check in. Pitfalls: a)Rounds can easily become longwinded, as each person speaks a little longer than the previous one. They are generally best kept short and snappy so a time limit or being limited to a single sentence may help. b)Rounds can get very superficial, with people responding mechanically. This tends to happen in groups where they are used too much. c)Conversely, rounds can feel quite pressurising. If everyone else has just revealed something very personal, it can be hard to pass. Uses: TO INCLUDE EVERYONE IN THE GROUP BEGINNINGS AND ENDS OF SESSIONS; CHECKING IN AND CLOSURE TO GET INSTANT FEEDBACK ON AN IDEA Pairings and sub-groups: The group breaks down into pairs or small groups in order to do an activity or discuss a topic. All subgroups may have the same task, or different ones. Subgroups may be randomly selected (eg by numbering round the circle twice, three times or more), or may be self selected, perhaps with a particular brief (eg work with the person you know best/least well; work with someone you feel comfortable/uncomfortable with) or may focus on particular interests or activities (eg all those wanting to talk about work situations at this end of the room, those wanting to practise listening skills at that end). Groupings may arise naturally out of a previous activity. As there may well already be spontaneous subgroups within the group, for example if friends have come together, or if particular people find they have a lot in common, a group may choose to deliberately divide in different ways in order to build other links. On the other hand if the topic being dealt with is very sensitive, there may be occasions when group members want to pair with people they already feel comfortable with. It is important to bear in mind with any subgrouping that the group has to come back together as a whole group. If the group always divides in the same way, factions are likely to be emphasised. It is better to try to use subgroupings as a way of building the links between different group members by altering the basis of such groupings as much as possible. Pitfalls: a) The group repeatedly divides in the same way, and divisions within the group are increased. b) Important things are shared in subgroups which are not then brought back into the main group. This then sets up "secrets" within the group. c) Some people only reveal themselves in subgroups and do not become involved with the group as a whole. d) As group members only share what happened in their own group, there may be a feeling of missing out on other things that are going on. Uses: DISCUSSING A VARIETY OF TOPICS SIMULTANEOUSLY GIVING MORE PEOPLE A CHANCE TO TALK ALLOWING TIME FOR INDIVIDUALS TO WORK IN DEPTH LOWERING ANXIETY LEVELS BUILDING NEW LINKS WITHIN THE GROUP HELPING PEOPLE GET TO KNOW ONE OR TWO PEOPLE WELL Feeding back: After a subgrouping, there needs to be an integration phase which brings the group back together. This will probably involve a degree of sharing. Sharing can be handled in a number of ways: 1) Individuals reporting back what they have learned/discussed. 2) Sub-groups reporting back on the whole discussion. 3) An open round in which anyone can chip in comments on what came up. 4) A group discussion of the topic, drawing on, but not necessarily repeating, what has been discussed. 5) Members of a pair feeding back for each other. This can feel unsatisfactory as it often feels more like a memory test, and can leave people feeling misrepresented. It is important that everyone is aware of what feedback there is going to be from a subgroup. If someone has told one or two people something believing it to be in confidence, they can feel betrayed if it is then shared with the whole group. Pitfalls: a) Feedback becomes too longwinded. b) Things are reported back to the whole group which were only intended for the subgroup. It is important that you check whether someone is happy for what they have said to be shared with the group. Icebreakers: There are a wide variety of games used as icebreakers. As there are many good books of group games, I will not list individual games here. Instead I will list a number of types of icebreaker games: Active/Fun games: Some ice breakers involve moving around or having a laugh. These are intended to help people feel more at ease and to bring the group together. An extension of this thinking is used in team building exercises involving real physical danger such as mountaineering. Name games: Some games are specifically designed to help people learn names. If the group does not make an effort to learn names, there may be some embarrassment and hurt feelings when people do not know what to call each other after six weeks together. Information games: Some icebreakers are designed to help people find out things about each other by means of a game. Such games will help group members get to know each other better, and may throw up surprise connections. Games that build links: Games which result in a lot of milling around or sharing things with different people will help to build links in the group. Also games which involve finding similarities with others. Trust games: Some exercises are specifically designed to build trust. This may be physical (eg supported falls) or emotional (eg games involving sharing risky material). It is important, however to realise that trust is not always as transferrable as some groupworkers would like. Just because you don't drop me, it doesn't mean I feel I can tell you about my sexual hangups without feeling wary. Pitfalls: a) Ice breakers set the tone. If they are jokey, they can stop the group from looking at more serious issues. A group, particularly early on, will be looking at how far it is able to be honest and what can be shared. b) Doing icebreakers can sometimes be a way for the group to avoid the difficult task of getting to know each other and finding ways of working together. c) Some people don't see the point and feel silly playing games. Fear in a hat: One exercise commonly used in groups is "fear in a hat" or one of its variants. Group members all take pieces of paper and write down a sentence about a given topic, usually a fear. For example: What I most fear may happen in this group, What I fear about dying, The behaviour I find most difficult to deal with in myself/another group member. These fears are put in a hat, or similar receptacle, and are then taken out and either read to the group or written on one sheet of paper. This can be done by one person, or by passing the hat round so that each person takes one piece of paper. The list is then discussed. The game allows difficult feelings to be raised in an anonymous way. It often reveals that several group members have the same fears, breaking down feelings of isolation. Pitfalls: a) Group members are afraid of being recognised. b) Group members write things and are then unsure whether they can own up to what they have said. c) The game can give the message that some things are too terrible to be said openly in the group. d) One group member writes something which is very different to what the others have written and feels isolated. e) Material is treated insensitively because it is anonymous. f) Someone writes something which the group can't handle, which leads to anxiety, anger or suspicion about who has written it. Although there are pitfalls, most of these difficulties can be addressed by sensitive processing after the game. Uses: OPENING UP SENSITIVE TOPICS DISCOVERING COMMON FEARS/ANXIETIES IN THE GROUP LISTENING SKILLS Group members often feel they need to improve their listening skills. Whilst some learning will happen in any group activity if people are willing to talk about how they have understood each other, you may like to use specific exercises. Empathy Lab exercise: Divide into threes. One is listener, one speaker, and one observer. The speaker talks about something which is important to him. This needs to be personal enough to carry some feeling, but not so personal that the speaker will not be able to stop when time is called and process. The listener listens to what is being said and keeps checking whether she is understanding it right by reframing the speakers words and repeating them back. Generally it is better to avoid questions as these often take the speaker away from what he is trying to say. If questions are used they should be for clarification. Other questions are only generally useful if they are very open ended. The observer watches, possibly making notes, and keeps time (usually five or ten minutes). Afterwards there is time for feedback. The following order and questions may help make feedback more effective:
Pitfalls: a) One danger of using exercises is that listening in the group becomes mechanical and unspontaneous. People become afraid of getting it wrong or interrupting. b) The issue may well not be a lack of listening skills, so much as a lack of assertiveness. If someone feels they are being pressured by insensitive questions or repeatedly interrupted and not heard, the matter will probably be better resolved by simply pointing this out as it happens. Groups are lively places, and sometimes we all forget to listen as well as we might. A kindly reminder can work a lot better than a formal session of learning "how I ought to do it". c) The issue may be connected with the group process. At some stages all groups go through patches of insensitivity. Trying to teach people skills at these points will simply drive the problem underground. Uses: IMPROVING LISTENING SKILLS IMPROVING FEEDBACK SKILLS RAISING AWARENESS OF PERSONAL ISSUES PSYCHODRAMATIC TECHNIQUES Psychodrama is a psychotherapeutic method which offers a wide range of techniques. Most are more suitable for experienced and led groups, but some can be adapted by un-led groups. Here are a few: Role play & improvisation: The group dramatises a scene either from real life or imagination. This may emerge from a group discussion and be the creation of the whole group, or may centre on one group member's experience or fantasy. Group members take or are ascribed roles. If one person is creating the scene, it is usually best if they ascribe roles. The central character, if there is one, may play herself (protagonist). Usually the scene is allowed to unfold spontaneously. If the scene is one in which emotions are likely to be evoked, which is often the case, it is best to leave at least one group member out of the action to make sure that safety is preserved. This means watching that no violence occurs and no-one is physically hurt. Making sure that if someone becomes upset or is on the receiving end of a lot of anger, as part of their role, they have support. It may mean stopping a scene if it seems to be going beyond what the group can handle, or finding alternative ways of exploring something. Being the outsider can sometimes mean having to step in authoritatively if feelings are running high. After the scene, there needs to be sharing, and the outsider(s) need to make sure this is done. Sharing in this sense means talking about personal material evoked by the scene. It is also important that the participants de-role. This can be done in a number of ways, but the simplest is probably to say "and I'm not ....., I'm .... and" followed by a statement about a way in which the person differs from the person being played. The group will often need to do lengthy processing after any dramatic work, so it is essential that time (at least half an hour usually) is left. This processing may include discussion of how the work fitted into the group as a whole. Empty chair work: Here a chair is used to represent a person. One group member, or group members in turn, talk to the chair. This method can be used to rehearse difficult situations, talk to people who are inaccessible because they have gone out of the person's life through death or life moves, or talk to abstract characters such as "my conscience". This work can become very emotional. Role reversal: One specific technique used in psychodramatic work is role reversal. Here the protagonist swaps places with another character with whom he is conversing and continues the scene from that person's perspective. The person who has swapped plays the role of the protagonist. This is useful in understanding the other person's perspective, and is often used where the protagonist wants insight into how the other person feels, or wants answers to a question. If the protagonist is talking to a character in a drama "how do you feel about ..." getting him to reverse roles with the character will often throw up an answer. One variant on this which can be very powerful if used in groups is to ask two people who feel in conflict to reverse roles with each other. Both may then talk, and so gain an insight into the other's perspective. Doubling: Doubling is a technique which enables one group member to say how she thinks another is feeling, or what she thinks he might be thinking. It provides something akin to the "thinks bubble" in cartoons. The double stands behind the protagonist, slightly to one side, with her hand on his shoulder. She then expresses whatever she feels is not being said in the situation. A double may a) Express thoughts which are opposite to those being overtly stated. b) Express things being missed out c) Express feelings d) Ask questions such as "what am I feeling" which prompt the protagonist. A double always talks in the first person as protagonist, ie "and I'm really feeling scared as I stand here." The double watches the protagonist carefully to see if what she has said was right or not. She may try an alternative. A double may stay with the protagonist throughout the scene (a permanent double) or different people may come and double when they have something to contribute (hit and run doubling). The idea of doubling can be used in many ways. If you are using these methods it is worth reading a bit more about these techniques in books on psychodrama. What is important to remember is that it is the position which defines the double. Once the group has grasped this you can play with the techniques, eg doubling for the empty chair. Pitfalls: a) Any dramatic technique can be powerful, but don't let this put you off. So long as the group is willing to talk about what has happened, and someone is willing to take responsibility for interrupting if things seem to be moving too fast, you are unlikely to run into problems. The important thing is that everyone is willing to have a go. b) Often a bigger problem is getting started at all. People are often self conscious if asked to play a part. Starting with a whole group improvisation, or a series of short role plays on an every day topic may work best as a way in. c) Not leaving enough time for sharing and integration. d) Not de-roleing. Someone can get left in the role of baddie. For this reason it is best to avoid always having the same person playing this type of role, as no matter how good the de-roleing, they can end up becoming type cast by the group. This is a particular occupational hazard for taller men (wicked fathers/bosses) and older women (mothers/bosses). There is no reason why women should not play men and vice versa. e) The whole group getting caught up in the drama. This is avoided by having one or more "outsiders". Uses: EXPLORING POSSIBLE SCENES & CONVERSATIONS PRACTISING ASSERTIVENESS CREATIVE FANTASY EMOTIONAL RELEASE UNDERSTANDING RELATIONSHIPS SCULPTING Sculpting is a term used to cover a number of different activities. Basically it means using people or objects to represent in a spatial way things which would otherwise be abstract. To clarify things let's look at some examples: Sculpting the group: sculpting is used to represent relationships within the group. This can be done by one group member placing the others in the positions which she sees them occupying relative to each other. Alternatively group members can place themselves. If this is the case, there is likely to be some disagreement, as group members have different ideas about the group. This can lead to useful discussion. Another alternative can be for all the group members simultaneously to sculpt the group using small objects - or even drawing- so that different views can be discussed. It often works best to create the sculpt with as little talk as possible, and to discuss what has arisen afterwards. Sculpting a family: A group member uses people, objects, or cushions to sculpt either her present family or her family of origin. Here each person or object is ascribed an identity. If people are used they may give useful feedback on how it feels to be placed where they are, eg "I feel very central in this family. I'm so close to M that I can touch her, but I can hardly see T because he's hidden by J.". Sculpting oneself: Sculpting can be used to represent abstract concepts, such as the parts of oneself. For example someone may use people or objects to represent their angry side, their sad side, their shy side, their loving side etc. They may look at the relationships between these parts, or may choose to talk to one or other of these parts, or even role reverse with it (see previous section). Integration and discussion: There is a need with sculpting, as with psychodramatic work to have a good debriefing session in which everyone can share how it has felt to take part. There may be a need to de-role if a part has been ascribed. Pitfalls: a) Someone feels aggrieved at the part or place they are ascribed and doesn't have the opportunity to say so. b) The sculpt is taken as being "how it is" rather than "of the moment". This can leave a group with rigid views of each others roles. c) Group sculpts can bring into the open dynamics which are uncomfortable for group members to admit to. If these are not talked about, uncomfortable feelings can become unspoken dampers on the group life. d) Many of the points made about the pitfalls of psychodramatic work also apply to sculpting. In general sculpting is a technique which brings up less emotional energy than psychodrama, but this is not always the case. A willingness to spend time discussing what has arisen afterwards is important or feelings can be left over. Uses: GETTING INSIGHT INTO DYNAMICS/RELATIONSHIPS BRINGING HIDDEN DYNAMICS INTO THE OPEN CREATING AN OVERVIEW, WHICH CAN THEN LEAD ONTO MORE DETAILED EXPLORATION OF INDIVIDUAL PARTS PAINTING & ART WORK Groups can use painting, clay, and other arts media in many ways. Paintings can be done individually, in pairs, or by the whole group. They can explore particular themes, or simply express the mood of the time. They can be representational or abstract. An end in themselves, or the basis for other work. Painting can be used as a warmup, or as a way of sharing feelings. If you are using painting or drawing in your group you may like to use these guidelines: a) If a subject is agreed make it open ended eg "my family" b) Other methods can be used to lead into painting, eg guided fantasy or drama c) Agree that painting in groups is NOT about producing a masterpiece. The process is the important thing. d) If someone is reluctant to join in, suggest they simply choose a colour and play with it on the paper. If they are still unwilling let them do what they wish. e) When looking at each other's paintings, try not to evaluate or interpret. Help each other explore your own sense of what the pictures might be about. There is no need to "understand" your work in order to benefit from it. Sometimes simply doing it is enough. f) Sharing can be done in pairs or as a whole group. Talk about how it felt doing the painting, and what it brought up for you. g) Always allow group members to do what they want with their own pictures. Never destroy someone else's work. Some ideas for painting:
Pitfalls: a) One group member does not feel able to take part and gets left out. b) One group member is very artistic and the others feel put off c) The group become too interpretative. Uses: EXPLORING FEELINGS ABOUT A TOPIC DISCOVERING NEW ASPECTS TO A TOPIC MAPPING OUT FEELINGS/IDEAS (SIMILAR TO SCULPTING) PRODUCING SOMETHING CREATIVE SHARED PAINTING CAN BRING A GROUP TOGETHER OR EXPLORE DYNAMICS. RELAXATION AND GUIDED FANTASY One activity which a group can share in is doing relaxation and fantasy work. This needs some preparation, and one person needs to be prepared to lead the group. There are many books of fantasies available, but with experience you can invent your own. In order to get the group to relax, firstly make sure that everyone is sitting or lying comfortably. They can take off glasses and shoes and loosen tight clothing. It is generally best to have the body symmetrical when doing relaxation. You need to be able to relax yourself in order to help others to do so. There are many ways of then inviting relaxation. Most focus on different body parts in turn. Some clench and unclench muscles, others simply take the person's awareness to the muscles and ask them to breathe into that muscle group. I usually prefer to start by working my way from the feet up the legs and back, helping the group to become aware of the parts which are touching the floor or chair. You need to speak slowly and repetitively, giving plenty of pauses. If you relax with the group, you will find your pace naturally slows down. I then move onto the front of the body, the head and face, which I cover in some detail, and the limbs, ending up in the centre of the body with the abdomen and chest. Here the breathing, which is the central element in relaxation becomes the focus. I encourage people to feel the breath flowing into all parts of the body. If you are doing body awareness, at this stage, you will help the group members to become more aware of the feelings which are held in the body, particularly here in the centre. This can bring up strong emotions for some people. If you are doing fantasy, you will now begin to introduce an imaginative journey. You can start this by saying, "Now that you are relaxed, I'd like you to image that you are...". Or you can start from the breathing by saying, "As you feel your breath coming into and leaving the body, I'd like you to imagine it turning a colour. I'd like you to see that colour growing into a cloud around you..". You can use your imagination to create restful scenes: beaches, woods, waterfalls, clouds. Try to keep your images open ended. Remember that once someone has a scene in mind, if you introduce details, they may not fit with the scene already there, so in general it is better not to do this. It is also not a good idea to introduce negative statements. Telling someone not to think of elephants usually conjures up a picture of a charging hoard! Fantasy can be used to regress people to childhood, or explore other past experiences. This can be a very emotional experience. When you come to the end of the fantasy or relaxation, allow plenty of time for the group to bring their awareness back to the room. It helps to specifically talk about sounds and sensations in the room, and to suggest that people wriggle or stretch and then roll over. Whatever fantasy work you do, allow some space for people to share if they wish. Some may not want to, but others may have had emotional experiences. Pitfalls: a) Not making sure people are comfortable first b) Going too fast c) Not pausing enough d) Conjuring up confused or conflicting images e) Someone becoming emotional. If this happens you may like to move and sit beside them, but do not stop the fantasy abruptly. Remember there are others in the group. If you feel other are being disturbed, for example if someone is crying loudly, you may want to end the fantasy, but still allow time for everyone to come out of it gently. f) Not giving an opportunity to share Uses: STRESS REDUCTION ENJOYMENT EXPLORING FANTASIES, PAST EXPERIENCES, BODY FEELINGS ETC CREATIVE IMAGINATIVE WORK STIMULUS FOR ART WORK AND OTHER EXPRESSION MEDITATION Meditation is another activity which focuses on bringing peace to the mind. There are many similarities between meditation and relaxation, but whilst relaxation simply aims to help the mind to let go, meditation aims to create an alert mind. Meditation is generally done in a sitting position in which the spine is straight. This allows the body to be relaxed and open, but attentive. There are many approaches to meditation, some connected with particular religious groups and others not. One of the simplest ways to meditate is simply to sit in the meditation posture, allow your eyes to close or focus softly on the ground in front of you, and to focus your attention on breathing. Slowly allow each breath to enter the body, and then to leave, noticing the flow of the air, appreciating its unique quality, for every breath is different from every other. As you watch the breaths count them until you reach ten, then start again. Try to reach ten without being distracted. If thoughts arise, as they will, just notice them and let them go. Slowly they will settle. Meditation takes time to practise and a lifetime (or more) to perfect. Another simple meditation is to choose an object. A flower or plant, a candle, an ornament or religious object. Choose something which you find beautiful and worthy of attention. As you sit focus on your breath until your body is still, then try to visualise the object which you have chosen in front of you. Try to hold your attention on the object in the same way as you did on the breath. If you have an actual object which you wish to use as a focus for your meditation, you can use this in the same way. Meditation is easier to learn in groups. Five or ten minutes meditation at the start of the session can help the group to focus itself. JOURNAL KEEPING Though not strictly a group exercise, keeping a journal whilst you are in the group can help you to focus on what you have learned from each session and explore further issues which have arisen for you. You may choose to record things which happen outside the group, dreams, thoughts, things which you have read which influence your thinking or conversations which you have had. A journal is a very personal record, and each person will find their own way of recording things. You may well find that your journal changes its form from time to time as you go through different stages in your growth. ENDING ACTIVITIES It is important to mark the end of the group. There are three main types of ending activity: 1. Looking back & evaluating: Often done informally, rounds, pairings and brainstorms can help to focus on what has been learned in the group. 2. Looking forward: some group exercises look forward. Planning exercises using drawing or writing may be useful. These are not often appropriate to self-programming groups, as they are more often task-centred. One exercise which you might like to use is to each write yourself a letter which you seal in an envelope to be opened three months after the end of the group. 3. Saying goodbye: It is nice to end with some sort of ceremony. This can be very simple like holding hands and sitting in silence for several minutes. Some groups choose to leave symbolic items, or speak about what they would like to leave behind. One nice exercise is to give each person a card or sheet of paper on which every group member has written something positive. Pitfalls: a) The ending is avoided by carrying on as usual or by socialising and failing to recognise the significance of the parting. b) Feelings which have been underground for a long time emerge at the last minute and the group ends on a sour note. c) The ending is too structured so that there is no space for feelings to be expressed. d) The ending never happens because the group dwindles before time. If this looks possible it may be necessary to discuss formally ending earlier than planned. FURTHER READING: AMIDAS TRUST GROUPWORK PAPERS: David Brazier, Group Process David Brazier, Group Dynamics David Brazier, Approaches to Groupwork Caroline Beech, Group Facilitation Caroline Beech, Groupwork Techniques USEFUL SOURCE BOOKS: DAVID BRAZIER, A Guide to Psychodrama, AHP publications 1991 SHEILA ERNST & LUCY GOODISON, In Our Own Hands, Women's Press, 1981 TIM BOND, Games for Social and Life Skills, Hutchinson 1988 DONNA BRANDES & HOWARD PHILIPS, Gamesters Handbook (1&2), Hutchinson 1979 P.C.J. Brazier | ||||||||||||||||||